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Get There First: The Art Of Discipline
March 4, 2023
Hebrews Christians A.D. 66-70
For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the Lord, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; For whom the Lord loves He chastens (disciplines), And scourges every son whom He receives.” If you endure chastening (discipline), God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten (discipline)? But if you are without chastening (discipline), of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.
We All Start “Un-Governed”
Move To “Governed”
Need To Be “Self-Governed”
To Go On To The Ideal of “God-Governed”
If A Child Does Not Receive Discipline From An Earthly Parent,
How Will They Receive Discipline From A Heavenly Parent?
The Goal of Discipline Is Always Short-Term Pain For Long-Term Gain
What’s The Point?
The Necessity of Discipline Is To Deter Destruction
The Means of Discipline Is Your Actions and Your Words
The Motive In Discipline Is To Express Love
The Goal of Discipline Is To Break The Rebellious Nature Without Destroying The Spirit Of The Person. This Teaches Obedience (Bitterness) and Submission (Rebellion)
Discipline Is Teaching Obedience To God and His Word Through Consistent Consequences (Actions) And Clear Instructions (Words) In An Atmosphere Of Love
Case Study 2
Reuben Hill (Minnesota Report)
4 Parenting Styles
Hill found that different parenting styles produced different responses among children. Below is a summary of Reuben Hill’s research, as presented by Dr. Richard Meier in a seminar on parenting, Minirth-Meier Clinic, Dallas, Texas, 1988.
The balanced authoritative parent, who gives high support (love) and high control (discipline), typically produces children with high self-esteem, good coping skills, and a positive relationship with parents.
Know There Is a Major Difference Between Discipline and Punishment
Punishment Focuses on Past Misdeeds
Discipline Focuses on Corrected Actions in The Future
Five Characteristics of Discipline
Always Avoid These Parenting Types with Punishment:
The Screaming Parent
The All Talk Parent
The Abusive Parent
The Shunning/Closed Down Parent
Three Main Areas We Should Discipline
The Actions, Attitudes and The Words
First Key: Consistent Consequences (Actions)
Proverbs 13:24 NIV
Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them.
Proverbs 22:15 NIV
Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far away.
Second Key: Crystal-Clear Instructions (Words)
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline, and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.
Ways to Use Words To Bring Correction
1. Say “NO” Firmly
2. Clear Warning of Consequences
3. Use “If You, Then I Must”
4. Use Consequences
5. Be Consistent
Seven Steps to Discipline Actions, Attitudes and Words
1. Clear Warning
2. Establish Responsibility
3. Avoid Embarrassment
4. Communicated Your Grief
5. Flick the Wrist/Touch
6. Look for Sincere Repentance/Not Pride
7. Respond with Unconditional Love
Third Key: Failure Is Never Final